Saturday, June 26, 2010

Written Review: Simon Says (2006)

Simon Says (2006)

Directed By:
William Dear

Crispin Glover
Margo Harshman
Greg Cipes
Carrie Finklea
Kelly Vitz
Blake Lively



Final Score: 3/4

I think I've stated MANY times how awesome the independant horror scene has been these last 10 years. While mainstream horror has been going downhill fast since around 2001 with shitty remakes and torture porn crap, the independant scene has been making fun, enjoyable movies, and is where I can get my slasher fix. That being said, I was very much looking forward to "Simon Says", being that not only was it an independant slasher, but one that stars Crispin motherfucking Glover. So, does it live up to my expectations? Hell yes, it does!

PLOT- Five teenagers are spending vacation in the woods. They make a mistake by trusting a pair of sketchy twins named Simon and Stanley (both played by the awesome Crispin Glover), who recomend the cursed lakeside campsite. Things get a turn for the worse as they find out Simon and Stanley are psychopathic murderers, who proceed to pick them off one by one ina gory climax.

SCRIPT- The script isn't that bad really, which is surprising for a modern horror film. The dialogue isn't too bad, doesn't feel forced, and is, in parts, pretty funny (especially the stoner Zack's lines). Plus, alot of Crispin Glover's lines are really damn creepy, especially "I won't let Simon hurt you...after all, why should he have all the fun?" No problems at all with the script.

Acting- The acting in the movie is also very good for an independant slasher movie. The main lead, Margo Harshman, plays a good final girl, and can scream vey well. Artie Baxter plays a good asshole. Blake Lively was also decent as Jenny, but nothing special, really. The best of the teenagers was definately Greg Cipes as the stoner Zack. This dude was funny as shit, and I really enjoyed his performance, especially towards the end, where he shows really good emotion and makes his character very three-dimensional.
But the best actor, by far, was Crispin Glover as the psycho twins Stanley and Simon. This dude plays an awesome psychopath, and believingly plays dual roles very nicely. You can tell he's having a great time with this movie, and it really helps his performance.

Direction- William Dear's direction was pretty good. The film moved at a nice pace, never has any dull moments, and the editing was never uneven or choppy. I've never seen any of this guy's other work, but from what I've seen from this, he's not too shabby.

Wrap Up- Overall, "Simon Says" is a very enjoyable slasher movie, and is alot better than the crap we get in THEATRES nowadays. I'd much rather watch this than a fucking Saw sequel, that's for sure.


  1. A great review. Wouldn't mind seeing this myself. Totally agree re; the boring SAW franchise!!! Great blog dude!

  2. Thanks, bro. Yeah, I'd highly suggest checking this out, it's alot of fun, and if you like slashers at all, then you'll like this. And yeah, the Saw franchise needs to end. I will admit I liked Saw 6, but still, it should've ended after Saw 3.

  3. I haven't seen this movie but I'll have to check it out, it looks and sounds good. Plus Crispen Clover is one creepy ass dude. Have you seen him in "Willard"? *shivers*

    I agree the saw franchise should've ended after 3. He's dead why the hell are they milking out the franchise?! Great post.

  4. Thanks, glad you liked the review ;)

    And yeah, if you like slashers at all, you'll really enjoy this. I agree, Crispen Glover can be a really creepy bastard, lol. ESPECIALLY in "Willard".

    In total agreement, I didn't see the point in continuing Saw after Jigsaw, you know, DIED. Although, I actually did like saw 6 a little, lol.